An agnostic is walking through the woods when he stumbles upon a grizzly bear. Panic stricken, he turns and runs, but the bear easily catches him. Just as the bear is about to maul the man, he cries out "God help me!" At that moment, God appears and time seems to stop.
God says "You believe that I may or may not exist, but yet you ask for my help? If you repent and accept me as your Lord, I will save you."
The man thinks about it for a moment and says "But, if I accept that you exist, then I'll no longer be an agnostic."
"True...", says God.
"And," continues the man "I'll have to reconsider my entire view of the world as I know it. I don't know...can I think about it for awhile?"
God looks at his watch. "Well, I'm kind of pressed for time right now..."
"Well," suggests the man "you could turn the bear into a Christian and that would solve my immediate problems. Why not do that, and I'll think about it later."
"Hmmm," thinks God. "Fair enough."
Suddenly, God vanishes and time starts to flow again. The man watches as the bear steps back a few feet, bows it's head, and makes the sign of the cross with his paw.
And then the bear says "Bless us, O Lord, for these, Thy gifts, which we are about to receive...."